


A Spiked Spider-Man

by Yousaydoctorisaywho



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Drunk Peter Parker, Hurt Peter Parker, Iron Dad, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Parties, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Protective Tony Stark, Requested fanfic, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, flash basically peer pressures peter like the weenie hut junior that he is, peter is not a partier, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 15:04:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18897067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yousaydoctorisaywho/pseuds/Yousaydoctorisaywho
Summary: Peter frowned and took another sip, not quite tasting the bitterness that much. “Well, Long Island makes some weird tea.”Ned was also taking sips and finally turned to Peter. “Dude we made it! Flash made us drinks, the whole grade is here; what could go wrong?”Well.ORRequested on Tumblr by: peter-parker-pictures"Would you mind writing a fic where Peter goes to a party and unknowingly drinks a spiked beverage? Then he could drunk call Tony who comes and gets him and has to deal with drunk Peter.





	A Spiked Spider-Man

Peter was not a party-goer. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, it’s just he was never invited and, well, he was terrified of them. He heard stories of people getting drunk and doing things that they regret, so as a teenager with a secret side job of being a superhero he had certain worries that differed from the rest. It would not be amazing for Peter to wake up the next morning and see himself drunkenly shooting webs around the house. He also had to worry that if Aunt May, or, god help him, Mr. Stark, found out, he would fear their rage over everything else. Well, maybe Mr. Stark would highfive him and then scold him. Gosh he was overthinking it. There was rumors around the school that Flash would be throwing a huge end of the school year party and nearly the whole grade was invited. Frankly, Peter didn’t know if he would even go if invited. Last time he did, Flash ended up starting a chant of “Penis Parker” and a repeat of that would not be entertaining to say the least. So, yeah, Peter Parker was for sure not going to any parties.

"Are you ready for the party tomorrow night?”

Peter froze at his locker as he finished grabbing his last book before turning to see Ned with a gleeful expression on his face. “Sorry, what?”

“The party!” Ned exclaimed almost in a shout. “Flash went up to me and said we could go!”

Peter narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he nervously fiddled with his backpack. “Was there a ‘but’ to that statement? What do we have to do, invite Spider-Man again? Talk about my ‘fake’ internship? Drink a really gross combination of all the kitchen condiments?”

Ned tolled his eyes. “Geez you worry too much. Nah, he just said BYOB.”

“BYOB?” Peter echoed.

Ned chuckled. “Bring your own booze. I told him we don’t drink but he said that was the only requirement.”

The dryness in Peter’s mouth became more apparent after that. “Ned how do you expect us to get alcohol for a high school party? I doubt you can waltz up to your parents and ask for, I don’t know, a beer!”

Ned shook his head. “Oh I was just gonna grab a beer from the fridge cause my dad keeps a box in there. I guarantee May has a bottle of wine or you can just take from Mr. Stark!”

“Mr. Stark?!” Peter hissed. “You’re asking me to take from my mentor?”

“Not take, just borrow!”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Ned, the beer would be gone and that ‘just borrow’ would become ‘borrow permanently’.”

Ned let out a groan of frustration. “Peter, come on. We are in high school! We have to go to a party at some point and tonight is one of those nights!”

Peter sighed. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I’m working with Mr. Stark until 8.”

“Peter the party doesn’t start until 10.”

Peter shut his locker and began walking to his class. “10? Isn’t that, I dunno, late for us to leave our homes? May is gonna ask where I am and your parents are probably gonna question you for hours!”

Ned shook his head. “That’s why I’ll say I’m going over your place and you’re going over mine and say we are doing a movie marathon!”

“You know, that’s actually not a bad idea- wait what am I saying; Ned we can’t do this.” Peter said with a sigh, going to his seat. “Just drop it, okay?”

Ned frowned. “Peter please? You never hang out anymore and the one and only time I ask for you to go to a party with me, you back out. Pretty please?”

Peter took a deep breath and risked a glance over and saw Ned doing puppy eyes with his bottom lip poking out. He snorted and just shook his head. “Okay fine, but we’re only staying for like an hour!”

Ned beamed and gave a thumbs up in response.

Now, Peter isn’t a party goer, as stated. He also isn’t a liar. The second school was out the next day, Peter was rerunning the lie he would say to May and Mr. Stark. The kid had made up an entire script in order to play it off okay. Why was he so nervous? He fights crime for a living and nearly dies all the time. Why is this so different? As he questioned his choices, he realized he had managed to make it all the way to the lobby of Stark Industries.

“Good evening, Peter.” FRIDAY’s voice echoed.

“Oh! Hey! FRIDAY! Didn’t, uh, see, or rather, hear you... haha....” Peter said too quickly as he rushed to the elevator.

“Peter, your heart rate is escalating? Are you feeling alright?”

Peter nodded and took a deep breath. “I’m fine! Just a little winded.”

FRIDAY was silent for a moment before saying, “Boss has been alerted that you are here.”

Peter sighed heavily and watched as the doors opened. His legs felt like lead as he left and wandered towards where his mentor was sat, staring at several holograms.  
“What’s up, kiddo, grab a seat and help me stare at these things.”

Peter nodded and grabbed a spinning chair before schooching over, totally not spinning a couple times on his way over. “What are we looking at?”

Tony wrinkled his nose as he continued staring. “I’m hoping something will come up from staring at these and then an idea will pop up.”

Peter looked at the 5 holograms, each one of them a different part of a Bluetooth device. “Bluetooth? Why do you need this?”

Tony cleared his throat. “Well I was thinking the other day that if you ever wanna call me, instead of pulling up your mask halfway to talk, or maybe you wanna play some of that weird music you listen to- “

“They’re called Panic! At the Disco and they’re amazing- “

“Yeah, okay, you’re anxiety at the party music, but the point is, I wanna incorporate it so it’s easy to use and you don’t need to keep using Karen like a personal phone.” Tony said scratching his goatee. 

Peter nodded absentmindedly. “That makes sense. Maybe we could create a nanotechnology that incorporates it and embed it into the piece that goes over my ear so that way I’ll be able to hear the music and it’s close enough for voice command; plus when the suit activates, all the nanotech will be together.”

Tony had stopped to stare at the kid before breaking out into a laugh and clapping him on the shoulder. “Gosh, if you were as good looking as me we would be twins. Unfortunately, I was voted hottest man 3 years in a row so I’m a little ahead.”

“At least I don’t have wrinkles.” Peter sassed, with a smile.

Tony poked him in the corner of his eye. “What do you call this?”

“They’re smile lines!”

As the two of them worked side by side, they kept cracking jokes and sassy remarks at one another. It was perfect and peaceful and much like Peter’s life, that came to a halt.

“So, whatcha up to after this?” Tony asked casually, grabbing one of the pliers.

Peter froze before fixing his goggles nervously. “Oh, you know, hanging with friends.”

“Going to a party?”

Peter nearly dropped the nanotech at that. “Party? What party? Party at my apartment with LEGOs if that’s what you mean! Haha, no high school party here or ever, at all, nowhere.”

Nailed it.

Tony stood there, not blinking. “O... Kay? Have fun tonight at your not ever, at all, high school party that’s at your apartment.”

Peter paled slightly as he looked and saw it was already 8. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Stark!”

Tony nodded and gave the kid a pat on the back on his way out. Peter quickened his pace to get to the apartment, heart beating fast. God he was supposed to say Ned’s Place! Now what was he going to do?? It’s fine it’s fine he’ll just lock his bedroom door and sneak out the window and leave the tv on! Nice. Brilliant. Peter opened the door and saw May at the fridge, grabbing a slice of pizza.

“Oh! Hey there, Pete!” May said casually. “You’re back just on time, how was Tony?”

Peter walked over to the fridge and opened it, grabbing a slice of pizza but not before seeing a can of beer. Huh. Who would’ve thought May drank beer? “He was good, we made some cool Bluetooth stuff.”

“Ah very nice, so what are you going to do tonight?” May asked, sitting at the table.

“Oh I was thinking of having Ned come over and we binge some movies and build some LEGOs.” Peter spoke through his pizza slice.

As the fridge started to close, Peter thanked all entities in the world that he wore his web shooters as struck a web and grabbed the beer, catching it with one hand and hiding it behind him.

“Oh okay! Sounds great kiddo, I’m probably gonna get an early rest so don’t be too loud, okay?” May said with a fond smile.

Peter nodded. “Yeah of course!”

There was a knock at the door at the moment and Peter looked and saw time had managed to go pretty fast and it was already 9:30. Walking over, Peter opened the door to see Ned holding a brown bag with a grin.

“Ned! Hey what’s up man?”

“I thought we were going to meet up at the pizza place and when you weren’t there I came here.” Ned said, his eyes screaming that he was gonna kill him.

“Oh yeah haha well lets go to my room and you can yell at me more.” Peter nearly pleaded to which Ned rolled his eyes. “See you in the morning, May!”

The boys headed to the room and shut the door, Peter instantly locking it.

“Dude! What the hell?” Ned whined.

“Ned relax! I got held up and didn’t see the time and I messed up by telling Mr. Stark that I was staying in and then I said to May we were just gonna binge movies and I’m freaking out and at least I got a beer but just- “

Ned calmed his friend by patting his back. “Hey hey it’s fine, I just got scared you ditched me.”

Peter shook his head. “No I didn’t, but I’m thinking we turn the TV on and just go out the window?”

Ned shrugged. “Yeah sure, we should go now though or Flash will think we bailed.”

So that’s how Peter found himself on the pavement looking up at his bedroom window. Ned nudged him along and they began their walk. By the time they showed up, it was a bit after 10 and the place looked crowded. There was loud music and disco lights going on with people wandering around the lawn. The two went up to the door and opened it to find the music much louder.  
“Oh boy.” Peter mumbled as Flash instantly spotted them.

“YOOOO IT’S PENIS PARKER!” Flash shouted causing everyone to cheer. “Yooo what’s up! Guyssss you gotta drink and catch up to me.”

Peter flinched as a very drunk Flash wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Are you, drunk?”

“Yeah! Wait come here come here.” Flash grumbled grabbing both Ned and Peter by the shirt. “Since you two are here, I made something just for you two!”

Peter and Ned exchanged worried glances as Flash opened the fridge and grabbed two large glasses with ice cubes and what looked like iced tea. “I got you two iced teas!”

Peter took it and stared at it. “Iced tea? Just... tea?”

“YeH!” Flash spoke with a slur. “It’ll taste weird cause it’s foreign or somethin.”

Peter cautiously took a sip and instantly tasted a strong bitter taste to it. “Oh god. What the hell is this?”

Flash smiled. “It’s pr- pro- shit. Professinallaly called Long Island Iced Tea. Just drink it, Penis! You can’t deny a host!”

Peter frowned and took another sip, not quite tasting the bitterness that much. “Well, Long Island makes some weird tea.”

Ned was also taking sips and finally turned to Peter. “Dude we made it! Flash made us drinks, the whole grade is here; what could go wrong?”

Well.

As the party continued, Peter had drank the whole glass and as a boy who doesn’t drink; it hit him. Hard. Peter soon found himself playing a game of King’s Cup and him and Ned ended up taking 3 shots and downing two beers. After the iced tea, Peter forgot about caring about alcohol and was having fun. The room was spinning, the music was loud, he felt social and relaxed. 

“Ned!” Peter shouted lazily, stumbling into his friend and giving him a side hug. “I’m havin sO much funnnnn! Fun fun fun fun!”

Ned giggled. “Peter!” There was a long pause. “Me toooooo!!!”

The two of them burst out laughing when Peter sluggishly took out his phone. “Ima call someone!”

Ned gave a thumbs up and fell backwards into a couch. Peter stumbled away into the corner and giggled as he pressed the contact: Mr. Stark.

“Hello?” A voice answered. “Pete?”

“Mistah Stark!” Peter squealed giggling. “Oh ma gosh, you know, I just, wait you know, I just really really really really really enjoy spendin time w-with yoU.”

There was silence before his tone changed to that of a warning. “Peter. I need you to listen carefully and answer honestly: are you drunk?”

Peter giggled and then laughed loudly. “Y’know Mr. Stark- I think *hiccup* I am! Flash gave me Log Issland tea and I thought it was regular tea but.... but then it wasn’t.”

There was the sound of an engine starting after that. “I located where you are. Don’t you dare leave or you’re going to regret it.”

Then the phone hung up. And that’s when Peter suddenly felt a lot more sober.

Tony Stark was on his way to a party where his whole high school was gathered and was about to scold him in front of everyone. Peter quickly rushed over to Ned who was asleep. 

“Ned! Ned!!” Peter hissed shaking him awake.

“W-wha?” Ned asked groggily.

“Ned I’m very drunk and called Mr. Stark and he’s on his way, we gotta we gotta- “

“Pete relax! It’s gonna take time.”

Ding dong.

“Oh shit.” Peter whispered.

The music slowed down and Flash scurried to the door before opening it.

“What- Tony Stark?!”

“Yeah. Hi.” Tony said, ice in his tone as he walked further in, scanning the area.

Peter chose that moment to grab a pillow and hide behind it, his eyes peeking over but that’s when Tony caught his eyes.

“Ah, there you are.”

Tony quickly walked over and grabbed his arm. “We’re leaving. Grab Ned.”

“Mr. Stark I’m sor- “ Peter began, tears pricking his eyes.

“Not now.” Tony said softly. “Ned, I know you can hear me. Get up.”

Ned slowly stood up, Tony still holding Peter’s arm.

Tony looked around the room at the stunned students and finally looked at Flash. “I’ll be for sure talking to you later but as for the rest of you I got two things: 1. You better turn down the music, if I were a cop driving by this would be shut down and a lot of you would end up working at a rundown restaurant chain. 2. I know a lot of you, some more so in particular, have been bullying my intern here, Peter Parker.” Tony chose that moment to glare venomously at Flash and squeeze Peter’s arm in the other. “Friendly warning that you might wanna stop before I accidentally call all of your parents and explain this delightful scene. That is all, Iron Man, out.”

Tony briskly walked through the crowd of people, Peter and Ned in tow as he made a beeline for his car. There were some students standing around it in awe, whispering to one another.  
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Tony cheerfully rang out, causing the kids to jump in surprise and move back as they all got in.

Ned sat in the back, his body swaying and hiccups leaving his mouth here and there. Peter sat in the front, taking 3 tries for him to put his legs into the car with Tony finally helping him by lifting him up and putting him in the seat, despite Peter grumpily whining “I can dooo it.” Tony walked around the front of the car, dragging a hand over his tired face as he finally got in.

“Alright, are any of you going to hurl cause I would rather it be on the fine streets of New York than my car that’s worth more than all of us combined.” Tony said, glancing around at the two.

“’m fine.” Ned said with a grin.

“You won’t be.” Tony sing-songed before starting to drive off.

Peter’s vision was still blurry and the room still looked like he was on the tea cup ride in Disney. “Mr. Stark I’m so sorry. I shoulda told y, you. But then I thought you would go,” Peter then changed his voice to a deep tone to pretend to be Tony. “Where d’ya think yeeeerrrr goin?”

“Okay Peter.” Tony said, trying not to laugh cause it really wasn’t funny but it really was. “Now listen, I’m taking both of you to my place and I got two spare rooms with bathrooms. I called your aunt, Peter, and she was not at all pleased. She got all worried when I said, ‘Hey Peter is with me and we are going to go hang out at Stark Industries’ and do you want to know what you’re lovely aunt said next? ‘I thought he was asleep in his room but when I went to go inside, I didn’t find him and almost called the police’.” Tony chose that moment to turn to look at peter with vague disappointment. “You scared her pretty bad, Pete, and Ned I called your parents and they told me that May called asking if Peter was there to which they responded you were at Peter’s! I would be less mad if the two of you knew how to lie decently… God I sound like such a dad.”

“You’re a cool dad!” Ned suddenly exclaimed, startling Tony.

“Yeah, well, being a dad means responsibilities so, you’re both grounded.”

Noises of complaint were uttered and Tony just turned on some music for the rest of the ride. They got to the compound and Peter and Ned, still quite out of it, stumbled out of the car making Tony have at least three heart attacks in fear that they would hurt themselves. They managed to get upstairs and Peter was a giggling mess as Ned kept trying to find the spare rooms.

“Where IS it?!” Ned shrieked, trying to find where it was as Tony watched on, horrified.

“I- I think it’s over here.” Peter mumbled, stumbling past Tony who gently guided him.

"Nooooo, it's over here!" Ned screeched running past Peter who tried to grab Ned two seconds after he got past him.

"Mr. Stark Ned is cheating." Peter said, drawing out the words.

“Alright you two overgrown toddlers, time to get some water in your body and then go sleep it off.” Tony said, handing both of them water bottles.

The boy’s both drank it quickly and by the end, half the water had managed to land itself all over the fronts of their shirts. They laughed for a while over that and started a small water war, making Tony groan and put his head in his hands. That proved to not be the best idea as they snuck up and poured water on Tony's head who in response stood up abruptly and chased after the two drunk teens, eventualy grabbing them and flinging them over his shoulder. They managed to calm down and allowed Tony to bring them to their rooms where they promptly fell onto the beds. Ned managed to get off one shoe and Tony helped with the other parts as he put Ned under the covers.

“Hehe, Iron Man tucked me in…” Ned sleepily giggled before falling asleep.

Tony turned towards Peter who was sat upright looking pale. “Kid?”

“’m gonna be sick.” Peter cried as Tony quickly grabbed Peter and brought him to the toilet before the young spiderling puked into the toilet bowl. “oh no.”

Tony frowned in sympathy as he rubbed Peter’s back, his back tensing up, and then a wet splashing noise hitting the toilet bowl. “It’s alright Petey, don’t worry, it’s going to be okay just let it out.”

Peter whined as he clenched the bowl and began mumbling incoherently. “Screw the iced tea. God I hate this.”

A couple minutes went by with Peter spitting bile into the bowl before he finally was able to stand up, his knees wobbly and head pounding. Tony helped the kid into the bed before proceeding to take off his shoes and socks.

“You going to sleep in those jeans, short stack?” Tony questioned. “Cause if I help you with those we’re reaching a whole new level.”

Peter smiled tiredly. “Don’t worry, I got it.”

Tony just nodded and placed a water bottle next to his bed. “I’m going to go talk with Bruce and you, young man, sleep.”

Peter nodded and scrunched his face up. “Could you- nevermind.”

“What? What do you need buddy.” Tony asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“My head really hurts and, uh, well, sometimes aunt May will… cardherfingersthroughmyhair.” Peter said really quickly, a blush heating his cheeks.

Tony just smiled and nodded. “Hey, I get it. Just shut your eyes okay?”

Tony began carding his fingers through his hair, smiling as the young boy began to drift off. Despite the puking and anxiety that had coursed through his veins, this moment right here was just one of the 3000 examples, that Tony Stark has a heart.


End file.
